Category Archives: saints, sinners, and angels

I WILL KEEP DANCING: Grace. Happy Mother’s Day to my little boy.

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To be able to feel others’ feelings

as your own

in this odd world , quite frankly,

 is no party.

A demise born into, most certainly not chosen.

i am a human pin cushion,

 far too-easily bruised.

Bananas? Perhaps.

But, I am so sorry, sir:

  Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas…

Talking to no one today,
i take refuge in my stacks of books and
jars of paintbrushes

tubes of paint are loyal friends.

i will go running after dark
to a chorus of peepers
under the moon,


i will paint my life a different color
if i want to,
because i need to.

people  hurt,

like hot pebbles on August asphalt,
stuck in skinned knees

or a tiny shard of
a broken wine glass,


stepped on,
barefoot and inebriated

— so in love you don’t notice

 until  bloody footprints

  dance around your flat

in all their crimson splendor.

Love leaves.

Blood stains,


and souls.

This pain can be ignored or deflected,
i choose to use it
as fuel.

Do not play with fire
unless you enjoy

a gentle admonition delivered

with piercing eyes.

Do as thou wilt,
is the whole of The Law–

but harm none.

JJC   9.14

OPHELIA SWIMS. 2013. Oil, gold leaf, tears, and poppy dust on wood. 18×24


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…and if you’re homesick, give me your hand, and I’ll hold it.




“and if you’re homesick
give me your hand
and i’ll hold it...”

Birdy“People Help the People”

No GOODBYES. See you again, my friend. (For Stephanie C. Havran. 10/17/83 – 7/24/2014. I miss you so much, mama.)

i love you, always. xox Jaybird

i love you, always.
xox Jaybird

I lost one of my best friends last night.
I feel like I am swimming underwater.
She was only 30,
and left behind a 12 year old little boy who adored her.

She was a beautiful, brilliant, shiny soul —
who could not get past the broken part of her that hurt so
badly with the mental/emotional torment that many uber-intelligent people
We read the same books, listened to the same music, wore
the same kind of clothes, both loved David Foster Wallace
and swimming and trees, art, writing, and BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS.

She invited me over to swim a few days ago and I
was busy. The grief I feel at not having gone is
unfathomable. I hate myself for this.
I will never see her sunshiny blond head and shy smile

I watched her try so hard, and grow, and bloom…
I was wearing her clothes this morning when I found out.
She was a recovering anorexic who gave me heaps of her “skinny clothes” —
just five days ago.
(I told her I was glad that at least SHE did not fit into them, and then laughed sarcastically at my morbid self-deprecation.)
She said she prayed for me every day and gave me a hug.

SHe ALWAYS gave me a hug hello, and goodbye.

If you love someone dearly, please make sure you tell them today.
Give them a hug too. Ask them how they are…
how they REALLY are.

You just never know when they
will gave you the last

Rest in peace, Stephanie, dear friend.
I hope you finally have found peace.
You are loved and will be missed by so many.

I will write to you in my journal later. I know you will read it, and I know you heard me when I cried in the woods today. My arm hairs stood up. I love you.
I will NOT say goodbye.

I will say,simply,

See you again.


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SYLVIA PLATH – Mad Girl’s Love Song. (Set to her poem ARIEL.)

janice j. cunningham


Stasis in darkness.
Then the substanceless blue
Pour of tor and distances.

God’s lioness,
How one we grow,
Pivot of heels and knees!–The furrow

Splits and passes, sister to
The brown arc
Of the neck I cannot catch,

Berries cast dark

Black sweet blood mouthfuls,
Something else

Hauls me through air—-
Thighs, hair;
Flakes from my heels.

Godiva, I unpeel—-
Dead hands, dead stringencies.

And now I
Foam to wheat, a glitter of seas.
The child’s cry

Melts in the wall.
And I
Am the arrow,

The dew that flies,
Suicidal, at one with the drive
Into the red

Eye, the cauldron of morning.

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Filed under cool stuff, diary, duality, dysfunction, enlightenment/spirit, existentialism, imperfection, life, love, mental illness, MUSIKKKKK, people, poetry, sadness, saints, sinners, and angels, Uncategorized

Song To Say Goodbye

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July 14, 2014 · 9:13 am



The End. 2013, oil and mixed media on canvas. 20×26.

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December 8, 2013 · 7:59 am

Bound/Unbound: Painting of the Day



November 30, 2013 · 4:53 am

Painting Warms the Soul.


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November 25, 2013 · 6:42 pm