I lost one of my best friends last night.
I feel like I am swimming underwater.
She was only 30,
and left behind a 12 year old little boy who adored her.
who could not get past the broken part of her that hurt so
badly with the mental/emotional torment that many uber-intelligent people
the same kind of clothes, both loved David Foster Wallace
and swimming and trees, art, writing, and BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS.
was busy. The grief I feel at not having gone is
unfathomable. I hate myself for this.
I will never see her sunshiny blond head and shy smile
I was wearing her clothes this morning when I found out.
She was a recovering anorexic who gave me heaps of her “skinny clothes” —
just five days ago.
(I told her I was glad that at least SHE did not fit into them, and then laughed sarcastically at my morbid self-deprecation.)
She said she prayed for me every day and gave me a hug.
Give them a hug too. Ask them how they are…
how they REALLY are.
will gave you the last
Rest in peace, Stephanie, dear friend.
I hope you finally have found peace.
You are loved and will be missed by so many.
I will NOT say goodbye.