Oldie but Goodie (these entries are not chronological, mind you)

4.14.06

 

Grey day. Still in pajamas at 1:30 pm. Smoking a Gauloises and making lists of priorities today that are anything but…simply a catechism of distractions from my ever-present existential angst.  Starting to comprehend why such a brilliant tour-de-force as Vincent Van Gogh took to the wheat fields and lopped off his ear. Love and intelligence.   The two just don’t mix. An intelligent mind with a broken heart is but a veritable Molotov cocktail.

It sucks, so badly sucks, to be smart and obsessive…nearly or virtually impossible to find peace either within or without.  Except when I paint.  Which is why I must paint.  And I must keep writing because the naked truth unfailingly comes scritch-scratching out of my fountain pen, to spill unapologetically across the blank page in brown ink to defile my delusions.

I am not going to attempt any longer to swallow the prescription of the masses. I must find my muse. I hear him, faintly, getting closer. He is getting closer.ing closer.

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